What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
