Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
