That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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