She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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