i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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