nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
