I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
