Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
