The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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