i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
