Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
