Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize