I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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