the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
