Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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