Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
