Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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