i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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