my soul wont recognize me after tonight
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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