How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
