dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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