Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
