I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
