New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
