This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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