im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
