she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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