these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
