3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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