These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
