I hope mine doesn't look like that
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
