i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
