Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
