Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
