Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
