i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
