I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
