it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
