Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
