ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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