i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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