Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wish I could punch you in the face.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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