I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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