Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
