East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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