sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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