from now on my penis is your penis
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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