Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
