Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Randomize
