Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
