White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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