when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
