I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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