i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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