GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
